Blue Light Vigil

The ceiling's wearing your cold blue again tonight The clock says three and something that I don't want to hear I've been lying here an hour in your manufactured light Waiting for the drowsy that refuses to appear I tell myself one more minute One more face, one more thread One more window into lives That don't know I'm not in bed Blue light vigil Burning quietly for a nameless thing Blue light vigil Hands around a phone like it might mean something Nothing's coming Just the feed that breathes and never fills the room Blue light vigil By the light of a borrowed moon My eyes are burning, pillow cold beside me in the dark I went looking for your name inside an old thread Read it like a doctor reads a shadow on an X-ray chart Confirming what I knew before I even went to bed I tell myself it's information I tell myself it's fine I tell myself the blue light's Just the way I pass the time Blue light vigil Burning quietly for a nameless thing Blue light vigil Hands around a phone like it might mean something Nothing's coming Just the feed that breathes and never fills the room Blue light vigil By the light of a borrowed moon This isn't rest This isn't even close to rest This is burning daylight backwards Running searches in a chest Full of everything I haven't said And names I won't forget I'm keeping vigil for myself For the self I keep neglecting to become Blue light vigil The ceiling cold and wearing blue Blue light vigil Trading darkness for a dimmer view No one's coming Just the hour doing what the hour does Blue light vigil And the night And us